Well you know it's the perfect person when you can be yourself around them. But the thing is, it's not the perfect person but the imperfect person who you see as perfect.
And it's not like you're going to be staying at your school forever. There will be plenty of time to still go out in the world. You aren't just limited to where you live.
I know. right now i feel like im trapped in a box. it sucks. ive never done anything exciting in my life. im basically just a loser in real life. I guess thats another reason why I turned to the internet. here u can do anything to your hearts desire. you can be anyone you want. and nobody will know better but to know u as that person instead of the person behind the screen.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Hey, you won't be trapped in the box forever. Only those who have the mentality of wanting to be trapped, will be. Confidence is key. Confidence and patience. Patience is virtue, right? I mean, you're how old? You have plenty of time!
Oh, and no one is a loser. You're unique because you are you. You were born an original and so many take that for granted. Don't die a copy ^_^
meh. I just dont have self-motivation in my life. i dont have anything that makes me want to do that kind of stuff. i want to do it so badly but nothing is motivating me.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
*sigh* I wish to be someone different. I wish to be more exciting and more of a thrill seeker. I wish I could do more fun and dangerous, adrenaline pumping things. But right now. Life is bland, boring. theres nothing to do in this damn town of mine.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Those who believe they can do something are probably right – and so are those who believe they can’t. There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results. A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn’t will find an excuse.
I don't think you should be someone different. Just think better of yourself. Mentally you're bringing yourself down. You have goals in life, chase after them. Don't stop chasing. Even if you trip...well...like I said: The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. And with the mentality you have at the moment, you're not going to get very far. You have to lighten up, smile, hold your head high and show the world you mean business. You weren't made to kiss ass, but to kick ass!
*sigh* if only I had the motivation to do that. I dont like thinking about it. but outside the interwebs right now im just a loser. I know I can do it. But I dont think the time is right.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: My first set of rp kids were triplets named Maria, DJ (Daz (My main RP characters name) Jr.) and Roxanne. the first month of their lives I mainly focused on DJ and Maria. I even had a recurring joke that if anybody asked about Roxanne a beat up prostitute would walk into the room and pass out on the couch and I would usually imply that it was Roxanne. a week after the first month of their lives I introduced my kids to my new niece. since I didnt want to tell her that she was a prostitute I instead reinvented her as a 2 year old neko girl who loved video games and zombies. since then Roxy is tied for my second most RP'd character aside her younger half-brother Dante who is a vampire who also enjoys video games and zombies. currently both of them are 6 years old and are about to graduate kindergarten.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: Phil aint a loser.
Another Fact: my son Dante proposed to Mio with a strawberry ring pop o3o I think he really thinks they're engaged now. because he ran away from home the other day and he left a note that said "tell my love that she may keep my tooth as a sign of our ever lasting love" I then found his baby tooth in the envelope o3o. Roxy wished him back with her sword and now hes grounded D:<
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: i do too D:
Another Fact: please dont be a loser for me. you might not even know me for much longer since i want to cut the internet out of my life as much as possible.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: Cutting the internet off one's life is an excellent way to gain a real social life.
Another Fact: I won't be on much after the next two weeks anyway because it will be SUMMER! My boyfriend and I are supposed to go to Florida for a week. Universal Studios is at the top of our list. Plus there is soccer, swimming and track. And work. Lots of work. So I am trying to be on this sight as much as possible before my life becomes hectic XD
Fact: WHY DO PEOPLE THINK JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO RP MEANS THAT I DONT HAVE A REAL SOCIAL LIFE T^T I HAVE TONS OF RL FRIENDS WHOM I HANG OUT WITH EVERY WEEKEND.
Another Fact: Lucky dogs. i was gonna go to Disney T^T but im having a surprise party this weekend for a friend whos moving.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: im on an anti-depressant now, its not for depression, but rather for migraines, i always had a fear of if u take a anti-depressant when u arnt depressed then it makes you depressed. i thought i had depression a few weeks ago and a few months ago before that, but im pretty sure it was just denial mixed with a little bit of suicidal thoughts. but today i just woke up feeling like shit. i couldnt walk without feeling pain. i was on the verge of crying all day. ive just been really sad all day long. i dont know what the fuck is going on.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: My parents blocked this website on my computer because they decided I spent too much time it. Which I do...but hah...little did they know I'm a skilled hacker.
I love how stupid they think I am XD
Another Fact: I think you should go see someone for that...it doesn't sound healthy.
I'll be alright. I will admit, I have tried to commit suicide 4 or 5 times. but i always chickened out. I won't try again. I dont want anybody to worry about me more than they already do.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!
Fact: I am the only kid in my family, out of four, who doesn't have suicidal thoughts.
I don't see the point in it. There's too much to look forward to in life. Sure, things start off slow. But it's the power to wait it out that brings forth greatness.
My uncle had died at a young age. My aunt had witnessed it. I have relatives who have cancer, and died from it. I have had relatives who have died in car accidents - one was crushed beneath a van. Ones who were smashed by busses while riding a motorcycle. I've had family drown in rivers.
They all died in ways that they didn't want to. They died when they shouldn't have. Died when they had so much going for them. Be glad that you still have a life. Don't throw it away.
There are HOW MANY kids out there who don't even have a family. But they still push onward. You're on a computer right now, aren't you? You're living under a roof, aren't you? Don't take ANY of that for granted. You're life...it's PERFECT compared to thousands. MILLIONS. Of others out there. But they still live like they own the world. Because that's what they do. That's what they know how to do. What they can do because they don't have luxuries. They keep looking forward. Forward and up. Not back and down.
im sorry for your losses. i guess my emotions are just a bit of a clusterfuck right now. i dont know what to do. i dont know how to feel. i just feel empty. i wish it could stop. but i dont think it will for a very long time. I just want my life back. I dont want to be Redgrave or Novacaine or Daz or any of those characters anymore. I just want to be Lane. It kind of amazes me when I think of the lifes of my rp characters and what was going on in my life while something completely different was going on in there life. I dont want their stress to have an impact on my real life like it has recently. I hope one day I can just forget about this whole big time of my life.
How am I still talking... without a fucking thorax?!